This may seem an odd thing to say...but not working is difficult! Apart from a few days/weeks here and there I have been in full time employment since the age of 18...for eight years. The work-free days are long and hard - there is so much I could do with this 'free time' if I had a clear mind and an unlimited cash supply....unfortunately I have neither. My confusion and anxiety are at their worst in the day and despite getting a 4 week sick note from the doctor I have yet to claim unemployment benefit...partly because I don't exactly know how to and partly because of the stigma associated with people on benefits.
I think it's a combination personal pride and human nature that I want to work. I have again searched for jobs today, sending my CV to a couple of agencies about jobs. I found writing a simple sentence in the body of the email to be a promblematic experience so whether I could handle a 9-5 is debatable.
On the plus side I cooked a chicken pie for tea (some may refer to this meal as 'dinner'?!) and it was very tasty - I thank Jamie Oliver for his assistance. The sun has disappeared and night is decending - I feel a lot calmer now......I always do at night.
thanks so much for writing this blog - picked it up via Depression Alliance on Facebook. i hope that writing your thoughts is helpful for you, and i am certain loads of people will be encouraged by your openness and honesty. thank you!
ReplyDeleteAgain via Depression Alliance on Facebook. I've had chronic depression for most of my life (since at least 5) and was only properly diagnosed about nine years ago (I'm 45). Writing through it and about it has been a great help to me, and I hope that it will be the same for you. It will get better. It always does. Keep writing. It will help you to move forwards.
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