I survived the weekend through a mix of coping strategies...keeping myself busy and 'acting' were high on the agenda. I would be lying if I said that I had been miserable all weekend - I definitely had some good moments and I have impressed even myself by playing three 90 minutes football matches in 72 hours!!
Today though I feel a bit lost again - all the people in the 'real world' have gone to work and although I have kept myself relatively busy (loaded my car ready for the tip, done some washing, washed up, etc) I have that sinking feeling again. I do feel embarrassed about not working...at the same time, though I also know deep down that I am not ready....
'Stay with it' and 'You are getting better ' I keep telling myself...I'm not sure I am doing either but then again it is difficult to measure if you are improving or not. Anyway I need to take a shower cos I haven't washed since burning mine and girlfriends bank statements from 1999...long story!
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